How to Deal With Workplace Bullying

We tend to believe that bullying only happens in the school playground, but it can occur in any situation where one person or group of people has power over another. There is evidence, that bullying at work is frighteningly common - across all sorts of different industries and many cultures.

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Workplace bullying is often hard to identify - and even harder to manage. Bullying does not take just one form of physical or psychological abuse. It can occur at every level within an organisation and it often goes unnoticed and unaddressed until, the situation can get so bad, that it leads to more devastating consequences.

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Some of the forms bullying can take are:

Harassment

Ganging up on one person

Incivility

Teasing

Persistent, negative gossiping

Purposely withholding business information

Overruling decisions without a rationale

Sabotaging team efforts

Demeaning others

Verbal intimidation

From this list, you maybe surprised at some of the types of bullying that can occur and possibly you maybe aware of some of them happening at your own company - often without harm being intended.

But as a leader within your work community, you are responsible for the happiness and well-being, fairness, justice and equal opportunity for all those who work for you.

Recently, I had an example of intimidation of an executive by his boss.

I was coaching a very interesting man, working in a start-up which he had participated in getting off-the-ground and had been with for the past 10 years.

When I saw him,he was withdrawn and tense. Obviously an intelligent person, his NEO (personality test) showed that he had a tendency to worry and had a pessimistic view of life. His body language was hunched.

He worked with a brilliant boss who was also the CEO of the company.

The boss came across as very bright, but also as having a mercurial temperament.

He gave my client mixed messages. Sometimes he told him he was a huge asset to the firm - a 'fixer' and solver of problems. More often, he accused him of being 'trouble' and causing more problems than he solved!

My client had grown to believe only the 'bad' news. He felt unaccountably guilty most of the time and not good enough for the role he had. Trying to please; he bacame increasingly tense and, if anything, less effective.

He was unable to 'answer back'. He couldn't engage his boss in an objective discussion about priorities, targets and outcomes. He 'froze' in front of accusations of his poor performance; taking the blame for the ills of the business and not asking for or setting agreed boundaries of responsibility.

He was locked into a negative relationship with his boss and gradually been subjected to a degree of psychological bullying, which had undermined his perspective and self-confidence. This change had happened gradually; but, these kinds of negative, locked-in relationships are hard to break free from and often require the intervention of a third party.

Change Your Perspective

I recommended that:

1) he find some local voluntary work. It was important that he get out of this rut that he had become used to and to expand his world-view. (Because of his obvious talent and energy, I was sure that he would be perceived as valuable and successful in the voluntary sector, which positive belief would carry over into his work environment.) 2) I encouraged him to shift the relationship with his boss by:

discussing and agreeing goals and priorities. record agreements on goals and priorities. say 'NO' more often. when criticised by his boss - ask questions and seek clarification and examples of poor performance. ask for specific coaching from his boss in areas that need improvement.

The Lessons

* Often, we need to step back from our situation and to see it with 'new' eyes; to put whatever is happening to us into a new and more balanced perspective. There is something very powerful about working for the benefit and happiness of others - which, as all the philosophers say, contributes as much, if not more, to our own happiness as to theirs.

* We must have the courage to challenge negative attitudes and behaviours in the workplace - it improves morale and motivation and even physical health!

* Maybe now is a good time to do a mental or actual audit of how happy and content your employees are feeling?!

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